But first, a quick note from the boys: This unfortunately marks the final edition of our inaugural season. But don’t worry bozos...You’ll be hearing from us in the offseason. Not every week—more like every month—but we’ll be discussing the hot-button issues (NIL, conference realignment, Hugh Freeze’s offseason phone logs), we’ll be watching spring games, we’ll be a couple old guys on Hooters barstools arguing about all-time teams, etc., etc. Hell, perhaps our producer-extraordinaire Michael #2 even makes his literary debut and gives us a little Masters coverage…

In all sincerity, thank you for reading this season. As long as y’all like what we’re putting out, we’re gonna keep putting it out. So thank you, and if you've got ideas on how we could make this better, if you've got beef (bring it biatch!), if you've got anything to say at all, drop us a line by responding directly to this email. And—final request of the season—if you like what we're doing, please send your nimrod friends to subscribe!

Burt’s Rapid-Fire Takeaways (RFTs) from the Semis

What a couple bangers!

For all the hemming and hawing about the lack of game-quality in the first two rounds, the first year of the twelve-team playoff format very much succeeded in giving us two high-level semifinal games…something the four-team format often didn’t. It’s probably worth mentioning that none of the top four seeds (the teams with opening-round byes) made the ‘ship—or even the semifinals, for that matter—as Ohio State and Notre Dame enter the final as the #7 and #8 seeds, respectively. Personally, I think that’s a good thing. It signals a level of parity we haven’t seen recently, and it (hopefully) points to the coming of an era where more teams matter (hey ohh!!!) later into each season. This year also marks a second-consecutive season with no SEC team in the championship game…following an unprecedented run in which the SEC had at least one—and often two—championship participants in 8 consecutive finals, and 17 of the previous 23 finals stretching back to 2000, while winning a whopping 14 natties in that timeframe. You know Greg Sankey’s in the lab right now…mixing Wolverine blood with Duck droppings and a warm Bucknut stew to curse the Big Ten brands that dare threaten SEC supremacy…Hey Greg/ESPN, maybe go ahead and scoop up FSU, Clemson, and whoever else from the ACC to shore up your flank?? (More this offseason on Burt’s SEC fantasy...)

College football is becoming—as the NFL long has been—a war of attrition.

And we can thank ourselves, the ever-thirsty consumers, for that. This is a fucking grind now. This is no longer 9-1 Alabama versus 10-0 Miami in the Orange Bowl following four weeks’ rest. This is a 17-game season with 3-4 slobberknockers in a 3-4 week period on the back end. Who’s healthiest when it matters most? Who’s peaking at the right time? Because it’s no longer about winning that one huge game in October, surviving a couple near-scares and then prepping for a singular championship game. It’s about doing whatever you need to do to make the dance, and then being in the right place as a team—being healthy, first and foremost—to run the gauntlet. That’s a different exercise, and I think it’s a superior one. So let’s enjoy this brutal, beautiful spectacle.

On the portal and NIL: Hold the line!!

Couple things right off the jump: Yes, it’s crazy that Carson Beck is 3x-ing big-name quarterbacks’ NIL deals from last year with his move to Miami—particularly after the season he just played (and the injury he just sustained). Yes, too: portal activity in general is up significantly this window (after falling in each of the past few windows). But there’s a reason for both the spiking NIL numbers and the frenzy of portal activity: A player-compensation settlement is coming, whether through the oft-rumored $20 million athletic department salary cap (you may hear it referred to as the House settlement), or through a cordoning-off of football players—you know, the core of the product that’s being sold for billions of dollars each season—from the rest of their schools’ athletic departments, and the concurring establishment of a player’s union, which would lead to a standardization of benefits. In addition, a proposal to establish a single, 10-day transfer portal window in late-January (as opposed to the current calendar of multiple windows—including one before playoff season) was discussed and roundly supported at a recent meeting of college coaches. With such remedies on the way, players are being advised that this is likely their last opportunity to enter into the portal and command Wild Wild West (what a film…) NIL dollars as unrestricted free agents. In other words, the madness is a sign that new rules are coming. Just hang in there people...

The Granddaddy of Them All

#7 Notre Dame vs. #8 Ohio State

Monday, 7:30pm ET, Atlanta, GA, Ohio State -8.5

Dr. Chim Richalds: If you’re a Notre Dame fan who reads this newsletter, you likely won’t be shocked by what I’m about to say. My disrespect for the Irish has been anything but subtle here at TTM in our inaugural season. And I was wrong, time and time again. Freeman has the squad purring, and every player, coach and fan in blue and gold has to feel like this is the team to finally bring the Irish back to the mountain top. Hell, even I’m starting to believe…

Here’s the problem: When you look across the field to the opposite sideline, you get snapped back to reality. This Buckeyes team, stumbles and all, are basically unbeatable if they play their game. And on the biggest stage, with all those guys having come back for just this moment, you gotta think they show up just one more time. So, for one final time in this 2024-2025 college football season ::crowd hushes, Chim picks up a Notre Dame shamrock hat off his high school commitment table and considers it::, I will be picking against the Notre Dame Fighting Irish ::Chim tosses the hat into the crowd as boos rain down::. Chim’s Pick: The National Championship Trophy heads back to Columbus, and the Notre Dame Fighting Sisyphuses keep pushing that boulder up the hill for the rest of eternity, 35-24.

Badger Bill: Sorry folks, I’m leading with the punchline here…The Ohio State Buckeyes are going to be your 2024-25 CFP National Champions…And you won’t find an ounce of Notre Dame disrespect here. The Irish have had one hell of a season. Marcus Freeman is the #1 pick in the “coach I wish was running my program” draft. I’ve bet against them regularly, and lost regularly. But as the saying goes, “it’s not the X’s & O’s, it’s the Jimmies and Joes.” And woo buddy, does Ohio State have loads of dudes (pause!). I don’t think it’s a stretch to say this is probably our best two-loss champ ever. They’ve given up more than 20 points once all year: a 32-31 loss @ Oregon. They’ve scored less than 20 points once all year: a 13-10 loss vs. Michigan (which might go down as the weirdest result in the history of that storied rivalry). But for all the chatter around the $20 million dollar roster and transfer stars like quarterback Will Howard and stud safety Caleb Downs (who might be the best player I’ve ever fuckin’ seen—think sort of an Ed Reed/Troy Polamalu late-2000s lovechild), some things just come down to the basics…the ABCs of college football…Always Be Crootin’. A quick glance through 247’s positional rankings for the 2021 high school class says a lot:

#1 overall: QB Quinn Ewers…okay this doesn’t count, but it still kinda tells you something about this class.

#2: DE J.T. Tuimoloau

#6: DE Jack Sawyer

#7: OG Donovan Jackson

#9: WR Emeka Egbuka

#11: RB TreVeyon Henderson

That’s the core of this squad. They came, stayed, and climbed the mountain top. To you old schoolers out there, the old way might still be the best way…Badger’s Pick: O-H-I-O 31-17.

BurtReynolds69: Couple big-time Ohio State fans up there…Hey fellas, I heard Columbus is undergoing a real tech boom. Maybe you should move there.

Alright, so my brother called me a Domer for picking Notre Dame to win the CFP in my bracket. Whatever. 1) You gotta differentiate your bracket if you’re actually trying to win money, and 2) I caught a couple of their games early this season and was like “damn…that’s a solid team.” And that’s what they’ve been since that wet fart of a loss to Northern Illinois: They’ve been really freaking solid. Marcus Freeman’s got a great defense, the whole team plays with effort and physicality, their linemen are tough and their o-line, as always, well-coached, and they’ve got a quarterback who makes it difficult on 3rd and 4s by essentially doubling as a 1930’s wishbone halfback to move the chains. But the fact of the matter is it’s going to take all of that, a little more, and some luck of the Irish to beat Ohio State if Ohio State plays even a decent game. (A rash of injuries along Notre Dame’s lines isn’t helping). I think the Irish defense is plenty good to keep Notre Dame in this game into the second half, but if Ohio State goes up 14-0 in the first quarter…it’s blouses:

I like Notre Dame to execute a good defensive gameplan that keeps them from getting their doors blown off. I like a halftime score of, say, 13-7. But, even as the guy who’s been telling everyone all year that Notre Dame’s actually pretty good, I have a hard time seeing the Irish score enough to win, and this Ohio State team is wired to make splash plays, particularly late in games when their superior depth of difference-makers shines through. A key question: Does Ohio State get good Will Howard? Or does Howard, in the biggest moment of his career to this point, throw Notre Dame an early bunny that maybe gives Marcus Freeman’s guys a short field, an early lead, and the full faith of the Vatican?? I backed the Irish here—in this very matchup—in my bracket, but they’re just too banged up for me to do it again now. The Buckeyes win their first natty since 2014 (it’s been a while!) as the tech titans of Columbus’ investment pays off: Ohio State 27-16.

Boxslayer’s Weekly Cash Giveaway

That’s right haters…Boxslayer’s officially over .500 on the season (36-35 ATS), and there’s really no other way to put it: Our guy's been red hawt for weeks now. Don’t miss one final opportunity to ride with a legend.

Boxslayer’s Lock of the Week – Notre Dame +8 – I know…everybody and their mom is on Ohio State, and for good reason: the Buckeyes have cruised through the playoffs and taken no prisoners. However, Notre Dame has a divine ability to keep games close, and I think they cover. Don’t get me wrong, I think Ohio State wins here, but Marcus Freeman’s guys play until the final whistle, and don’t be surprised if a trash TD at the end of the game flips this one.

Bonus Bet from the Box Man: Cheering for unders is excruciating, but winning money isn’t! Expect a similarly low-scoring affair to the Ohio State-Texas game last week. Under 46, all god damn day.

From the whole crew: Peace bitches!! (Until next month…)