For the Lazy Ones…

• Georgia survives a scare, 'Bama bounces back, Kansas State makes its case, and Miami's rolling.
• We preview another decent slate this weekend, headlined by Tennessee's sexy night visit to Oklahoma.
• New to TTM? Been here and digging our vibe?? ::Flexes glutes:: Help us get the word out by subscribing—or sending your friends to subscribe— here!

TTM: Week 3 Rapid-Fire Takeaways

By Sam Ranson

Georgia survives…but did Kentucky provide the blueprint?

Georgia withstood a surprisingly stern test from a non-vintage Kentucky team on Saturday night, as the Wildcats successfully dragged the ‘Dawgs into an ugly 13-12 field goal fest that more closely resembled a late-season, cold-weather NFL contest than it did a modern college game. The ‘Cats’ defensive front played a stellar game to stymy Georgia’s normally bruising rushing attack, and rather than sending extra hats to pressure Carson Beck on passing downs, dropped bodies into coverage to force Beck to find receivers in varied and complex zone looks, something he struggled to do with any consistency. Kentucky’s offense successfully executed a ball-control strategy, bleeding clock and limiting Georgia’s possessions, which further prevented the Georgia offense from finding a rhythm. The ‘Dawgs ultimately took advantage of overly conservative decision-making by Kentucky coach Mark Stoops—and a late fumble by tight end Oscar Delp that Georgia luckily recovered for a first down—to ice a nervy one-point win, as Georgia fans will now spend the bye week criticizing the playcalling of offensive coordinator Mike Bobo (who we’d admittedly like to display a bit more creativity…). The ‘Dawgs kick off a brutal string of games with a trip to Tuscaloosa in two weeks, and you better believe ‘Bama and other opposing coaches will be watching the Kentucky tape for cues on how to slow down Kirby and co.

K-State puts out a marker

The Wildcats rocked what will likely prove a decent Arizona team on Friday night, putting the game away with a dominant stretch in the second and third quarters. Young quarterback Avery Johnson showed poise (along with his dual-threat ability), the Kansas State defense limited an explosive Arizona offense to just 7 points, and the Wildcats looked every bit of the Big 12 contender we projected them to be.

Alabama responds

The Crimson Tide, who struggled mightily with South Florida in Week 2, rose up and throttled Wisconsin at Camp Randall on Saturday. Jalen Milroe showed his full arsenal of weapons in the contest: A beautiful deep ball that headlined a shockingly efficient passing attack, and a suddenness in his run game that must make the hairs stand up on the necks of opposing defensive coordinators. Alabama’s offensive line—who my Gump buddies rightly reminded me was pretty banged up for the USF game—played significantly better in this one, opening rushing lanes for Milroe and the backs and protecting their quarterback when the Tide dialed up shot plays against what looked a highly vulnerable Wisconsin secondary. Like Georgia, ‘Bama’s on bye this week ahead of their absolutely massive clash on September 28.

Miami’s rolling

Yes, it’s Ball State, but Miami outgained the Cardinals 750 to 115 (!!) in a 62-0 shellacking, and Mario Cristobal’s Hurricanes have the look of a dangerous, well-balanced football team. (Good lord…the number of drunk old white guys in Air Force Ones, Cuban link chains and Jeremy Shockey jerseys that are about to begin attending Miami home games for the first time in 10+ years…the image is nauseating.) The Hurricanes have outscored their first three opponents 159 to 26, Cam Ward’s looked every bit the transfer portal gem their fraudulent LifeWallet NIL dollars hoped he’d be, the ‘Canes have been able to establish a competent run game as a counter to Ward, and their defense has bullied opposing offenses into an average of 189 total yards. Perhaps we’ll get a better look under the hood this week, as Miami faces an intriguing road test against the same South Florida team that gave Alabama fits in Week 2.

Napier’s toast

That’s it. That’s all. Billy Napier’s time in Gainesville is up. It may be tough to lure him away if Ole Miss has the type of season they’re hoping to have, but our gut has always told us that Lane Kiffin and the Gators might have eyes for one another if the opportunity ever arose. You can just see it now: A foolish personal foul penalty costs the Gators dearly in some rivalry game…A red-faced, wild-haired Kiffin spikes his stupid visor into the turf, but in doing so gets his arm tangled in a cord attached from his headset to his belt, accidentally pulling his pants down on the sideline as the Gators lose a tight one!

Week 4's Tasty Treats

#7 Tennessee at #13 Oklahoma

7:30pm ET, ABC, Tennessee -7

By Sam Ranson

Tennessee head coach Bobby Hill—shit! I mean Josh Heupel…—returns to the homestead to face his alma mater in a heavyweight showdown Tennessee fans are hoping plays out in a way that allows them to drunkenly say “Welcome to the Ehh-Seee-Seeeeee” as they stream out of Gaylord Family Memorial Stadium—that’s the name of Oklahoma’s stadium—on Saturday night. This is one of those games that actually makes us happy about conference realignment. (Plenty of things don’t, but let’s at least enjoy these, because more of these games is a beautiful thing.)

The Vols look like the real deal. Their offense is explosive in the way that 2022 Tennessee was, but their defense—led by superfreak edge James Pearce, Jr. and a nasty pass rush—looks vastly improved. Can that front seven get home and contain the deep threat posed by Oklahoma quarterback Jackson Arnold and a dynamic group of Sooner receivers? Is a portal-supplemented Tennessee secondary up to the task if OU’s offensive line defies expectations and is able to stand up to Tennessee's talented defensive front?

As for OU, head coach Brent Venables is slowly but surely putting his fingerprints on this program, and that starts with defense: Oklahoma’s defense is starting to look like a Venables-led bunch. They’re going to blitz. They’re going to play downhill. They’re going to play a ton of press man. How does young Nico handle that in a big-time road environment? If Tennessee goes down early and those homesteaders are a-hootin’ and hollerin’, do they retain their explosiveness? Or do they go into a shell? We can’t wait to find out…

BurtReynolds69’s pick: OU comes out with its hair on fire as Nico takes a quarter or two to settle in, but Tennessee’s the better team from top to bottom and the Vols hit a couple explosives in the second half to pull away late. Tennessee 34-24.

#10 Utah at #15 Oklahoma State

4pm ET, FOX, Utah -2.5

By Michael Brown

Stetson Bennett (all honor to his name) walked so these other old-ass quarterbacks could run. The guy caught flack for what was considered both an advantage and a disadvantage—his age—depending on what kind of ‘Dawg-hater you were talking to at the time. But look how far we’ve come in just a few short years: This matchup between the Utes and the Cowboys features two QBs whose combined age is FORTY-NINE! They’re seventh-year seniors! You know, a lot of people go to college for seven years…

Speaking of old, while doing some research for this game, I realized that the famous Mike Gundy post-game meltdown turns 17 this year. This makes me feel very old. He’s a man! He’s (now) 57! And he’s three games into his 20th year as HBC of the Okie State Cowboys.

The Cowboys are 3-0 on the season and have been running the classic “score as much as you can and hope the defense maybe gives up fewer points” plan the Big 12 is known for. Alan Bowman has been airing it out and is just 30ish yards shy of 1,000 for the season. Ollie Gordon II started off the season with a 3-touchdown, 120+ yard game, but has been quieter in his last two starts. If you recall though, Gordon started slow last year before ultimately taking home the Doak Walker Award (shoutout BurtReynolds69’s great uncle!) as the nation’s top running back.

After a knee injury saw him miss the entirety of the 2023 season and a finger/hand injury kept him sidelined last week against Utah State, Cam Rising has been practicing fully this week and has reportedly been cleared to start on Saturday. Rising’s health is critical to the Utes’ hopes of winning the Big 12 and claiming a bye in the playoff. Encouragingly, Utah’s ground game has been solid in his absence: Micah Bernard is averaging over six yards per carry and looks plenty capable of helping open up the passing game for Rising and his stable of receivers.

This game has all the markings of a good old-fashioned Big 12 shootout, and I’m expecting lots of points at Boone Pickens on Saturday afternoon. I hear there’s a flu going around Stillwater, so stay healthy. Don’t get a fever, dog…

Dr. Chim Richalds’ pick: The point total is 52.5 as I write this, which seems….low. The over is tempting (we'll likely end up taking this if it doesn't move dramatically). I’m taking Utah to cover in Stillwater. Utah 38-31.

#12 USC at #17 Michigan

3:30pm ET, CBS, USC -5.5

By Billy Lowry

We made it folks. New Year's Day. The parade. The sunset. ::Keith Jackson voice:: The Granddaddy of Them All! Wait, scratch that…

The most played matchup in Rose Bowl history starts a new chapter this weekend as the Trojans of USC take on the Michigan Wolverines to…*squints*…open Big Ten play?? May the souls of Bo Schembechler and John McKay have mercy on us…

All eyes in the Big House will be locked on the quarterbacks Saturday, as USC signal caller Miller Moss looks to continue his torrid start and cement himself as an early Heisman favorite. On the other sideline, Michigan’s quarterback play has even those in the thickest maize-colored glasses feeling blue: Alex Orji (pronounced exactly as you were hoping it’d be…), the presumed starter after J.J. McCarthy moved on to Sunday ball, will make his first career start after losing the job this offseason to former walk-on Davis Mills. Make no mistake, Orji’s an absolute UNIT with the ball in his hands, gobbling up nearly 6 yards per carry and 3 touchdowns in limited work. It’s the whole throwing of the football thing where red flags fly…But the problem may be less that he’s struggled passing, and more that he hasn’t been allowed to do it in games. Alex Orji in 12 career games: 7 passes, 4 completions, 20 yards…It’s the “I’m not mad, just disappointed” version of coaching trust.

Let’s be clear: USC ain’t Texas, and I expect the Wolverines to find a bit more traction on the ground than they did a couple weeks ago. But two games in, new Trojan defensive coordinator D’Anton Lynn’s defense looks like it’s grown a pair, and Lincoln Riley’s pants are getting tight. Coming off a bye week. Warm weather in the forecast. A late afternoon kickoff for the Pacific timers…The vibes in AA are feelin’ a little LA folks!

Badger Bill’s Pick: John Madden said it best… “If you have two quarterbacks, you actually have none.” USC 27-20.

Badger Bill's Lock of the Week!

As a sexy new bonus, and with BoxSlayer in the TTM gulag for losing our readers many thousands of dollars, we’d like to introduce Badger Bill’s B1G Lock of the Week! This one's a Friday Night Special, and who loves a big spread more than Bret Bielema?? The pick: Back Illinois as 7.5-point 'dogs against Nebraska.

Rutgers at Virginia Tech

3:30pm ET, ACC Network, Virginia Tech -3.5

By Sam Ranson

(It’s TTM’s…Sneaky Banger of the Week!)

Is this a pretty blatant giveaway to our solid contingent of Hokie readers? You bet your ass it is! This one goes out to all my Hokies out there!! Hokie, Hokie, hi, hi! Tech, Tech, VPI!! ::flaps arms, turkey call::

For those of you wondering how this game made the cut, hear us out: We actually think Rutgers is decent. We think Tech’s decent. We think we’re talking about two top 40ish teams here. Two potential 8-4 teams. And perhaps more importantly, both these teams need this game as they prepare to enter conference play. So watch it! Bet on it! (If your state allows it…if not, fuhgettaboutit!!! Just head on down to The Bing and place a little wager with Paulie Walnuts over there!! Ohhh!!! ::Italian inflection::)

Schiano’s working his Jersey Boy magic again at Rutgers (::falsetto voice:: Biiiig girls dooon’t cry! They don’t cry-ee-y-ee-yyy!!), and the Scarlet Knights hilariously have the look of a potential bowl team, led by a tough, veteran-laden defense.

For the Hokies, this is a huge opportunity to get right after a horrific Week 1 loss to Candy. We don’t love their injury report—star tailback Bhayshul Tuten is banged up and questionable, starting left tackle Xavier Chaplin got dinged in pregame warmups last week and is also questionable, among a few other key contributors—but it sounds like most of their top guys will be healthy enough to play. Can quarterback Kyron Drones both protect the ball and show off his dual-threat ability to unlock a stingy Scarlet Knights D? Can the Hokies’ front seven figure out their damn run fits well enough to slow a physical Rutgers rushing attack? These are the keys we'll be watching.

You know that scene in Zoolander where they invent a fake coal-mining region in New Jersey? There’s no coal mining in New Jersey. You know where the landscape does resemble that scene? Southwest Virginia. For that reason, we’re calling this one the Derek Zoolander Bowl.

BurtReynolds69’s pick: The Hokies grind out an ugly one at home, winning the first inaugural Derek Zoolander Bowl, and founding the Derek Zoolander School for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Wanna Learn How to Do Other Stuff Good Too. Virginia Tech 24-23.