An Introduction: Teams That Matter

What’s in a name? Often times, nothing.

Bill? Nope. Nothing there. Guy could be anybody.

Brad? Okay, a bit more to chew on here. Guy’s probably a douche, but maybe he’s okay. He certainly gels his hair, but hey, gel’s kinda back (just ask my co-founder)...The jury’s still out on this guy.

Shoney’s? Okay, now we’re getting somewhere. Cigarette-burned booths and a bottomless seafood buffet. A grease vat of a restaurant next to an hourly motel in a dry county in South Georgia. There’s plenty of meaning in this name. We know what we’re getting here.

When we set out to start our puny little college football newsletter (a newsletter! What a buncha nerds! Who reads anymore?!), we knew we’d need a name. But before we could settle on a name—and more importantly than a name, frankly—we knew we’d need a theme. The thing would need a reason for being. What was it we were trying to say? What made our message different? Why start now?

Let’s reverse engineer it, from name back to theme. The name we settled on: Teams That Matter.

What’s that mean? Who are these “teams that matter?”

Well, I’ll start here, because it’s where we started when we formulated the theme that led to the name (confused yet? Good!), which was borne out of a realization that our little operation can’t possibly cover every team in the endless landscape of college football. Again, who are these “teams that matter”? Wake Forest…I’m sorry. It’s not you. Tell daddy he’s wasting $80k a year (I’m kidding!!). We’re not talking about you. Rutgers? Come on…you know…Stop gesticulating with your hands. You already know we’re not talking about you. Kansas? I’m sorry to all my Kansas folks out there (my family lived there when I was in middle school and it kicked ass—great place to grow up), but you know it…you already know.

No. We’re talking about those helmets you know. Those stadiums and those settings you instantly recognize. It’s Baton Rouge on a sweltering Saturday night (with all its attendant smells—bourbon, corndogs, the tailgate etouffee your buddy can’t hold down, etc.). It’s Chief Osceola planting a flaming spear at midfield. It’s the sturdy nerd with a tuba dotting the ‘i’ in Ohio. It’s the garish, ugly, and yes, loud ass Swamp when the Gators have a squad (been a while!). These are the teams, that make the moments, that make the insanely irrational feelings, that make the memories, that make the sport.

The initial idea was that we would write a newsletter that really just focused on these guys: The big dawgs. The needle movers. The programs that must be covered because they could win something. Because they could win the whole damn thing.

But as we thought about it more, we made a realization: in the labyrinthian tale of college football, every team matters. Alabama needs the Mississippi schools in order to be Alabama. Oklahoma needs Baylor in order to be Oklahoma. Notre Dame needs Navy in order to…you get the picture. This is a sport…a time-worn tapestry…built on tales of David vs. Goliath, of haves vs. have-nots in a way that mirrors the real world in a way that many would rather not admit.

And like in the real world, the heavies often throw their weight around. Goliath bodies David like Michigan bludgeons Maryland. Like Tennessee throttles Vandy (who we’ll more often refer to as Candy). Like Oregon thrashes Arizona. You see where this is going. But man…When Marshall goes into South Bend and runs over Notre Dame in the sullen shadow of TD Jesus? When Middle Tennessee State names their number against the U in front of hundreds of drunk Miami fans? When Kansas rises up and beats a Texas team that had just announced they were leaving the Big 12—and Kansas—for greener pastures? And then throws their own goalposts in the lake?? You can't write a better story. You can't make it up.

So yes, this small-time newsletter will focus on those big teams with their giant stadiums, their haughty, egotistical boosters (hey Texas!), their psychotic fanbases (I see you Auburn!), and their sparkling trophy cases (self-claimed titles don't count 'Bama!). It will do that out of necessity, and it will do that because at the business end of each season, most of the Davids are dead.

But don’t mistake the name and, more importantly, don’t mistake the focus as an arrogant declaration that the guys who compete their asses off with less don’t matter. Everyone in this story matters. There’s no Goliath without David. There’s no Globetrotters without the Generals. The tapestry needs Virginia football like John Gotti needs a fall guy. And frankly, I respect the hell out of a Virginia season ticket holder. Sitting out there on that grassy hill with your huge quilted blanket and your thermos of hot tea. Was that a bit of grandpa’s old cough medicine you snuck in there? You old sailor! I’m telling the dean!!

And man, for that long-suffering Virginia fan…When they’re actually good? When Matt Schaub, Ahmad Brooks, Chris Canty and the boys start busting heads and threatening the bullies?? The catharsis Virginia fans must have felt during a time like that—brief as it was—must have been a beautiful thing.

So yes, we’ll be covering the traditional heavyweights in our weekly newsletter (check your inboxes every Friday morning, just after you grab that second cup of coffee, and just as you head for that warm, peaceful, smelly oasis that is your bathroom in the late morning). We’ll be covering the heavies. We’ll be sharing our favorite bets. We’ll be talking big-picture trends (around conference realignment, NIL, etc.) But we’ll also be talking emerging storylines, tasty little deviations, surprise packages. Show us you matter, and we’ll write about you (not that Dave Clawson and his hawg-riding preacher give a damn...). And through all of it, we’ll do our best to make you laugh, we’ll do our best to offer up occasional bits of solid analysis (“that guy is BIG”), and maybe above all else, we’ll do our best to offer a subtler perspective on the sport than the folks over at ESPN think you can handle.

We hope you’ll join us along the way.